I started writing my fifth book (still untitled) about four years ago, before Covid. I thought I knew where the story was going when I began writing, but the pandemic and life events ended up changing the trajectory…several times. I now have a first draft that is poignant but not cohesive. In the past I could churn out a first draft in two months, laser focused on character development and the story arc. As I wrote, I could picture what was happening like a movie reel in my head and the pieces just fell into place. With this book? Not so much. Not yet.
I want to deliver the goods. For me…and for the people who’ve been asking for my next book for a long time. But I want it to be good. Not just good. I want it to be the best damned book I’ve ever written and it has the potential if I can ever clear the fog from my mind and focus on the main thread of the plot. Tighten up the loose ends. I’ll get there. I know I will.
In the end, what is most important to me is publishing something real, not some contrived romantic drivel. I want you, the reader, to feel the pain, the joy and the inner conflict my characters feel. I don’t particularly care if you like them (that’s a bold statement!). They are flawed ‘humans’ who fuck up and make bad choices and love people they shouldn’t and hurt people who care about them. They can be selfish and whiny and contrary at times. They may want what they can’t have and suffer from depression and anxiety and have melt downs. You may want to smack them or rip your hair out in frustration because they can’t stop getting in their own way.
They are you and me and your friends and family.
I want you to read my book and say, ‘yeah, that happened to me (or my sister, or my friend) and it sucked.’ Or ‘I know someone who went through that and it was for the best.’ When you turn the last page, I want you to say I can relate. What I write may bring back unpleasant memories, it may give you hope for the future, or maybe you’ll feel as lost as I do at times. But it will be real.
At least…that’s the goal.