What I’d like to write about today is far too incendiary. I wouldn’t want anyone to stroke out or have a nervous breakdown. So I’ll simply say this; cake is delicious. My relationship with cake has been complicated, this is true. I’ve spent a great deal of time trying to figure out the nuances of my connection with this particular baked good. Cake is enticing and has a lot to offer. The taste, texture and aroma of a good cake can overpower a person who has been deprived of sweets for many years.

Sometimes cake tells you what it thinks you want to hear. For instance, you won’t gain a pound if you eat the whole damned cake. Everyone knows that’s a pipe dream! You’ll gain a shit ton of weight if you eat more than a slice, day after day after day. I understood this, but shoveled it down whole anyways. I ate the entire cake instead of being honest with myself; I can only handle a slice at a time. I packed on pounds I couldn’t afford and carried around that weight for too long.

But what is life without cake? Is it an either or situation? Every problem has a solution and there is indeed an antidote to this complex equation.

I don’t have to cut cake out of my diet entirely. My relationship with cake can change if we’re both willing to redefine the parameters. I’ve done my part by establishing boundaries, setting limits and controlling how much I eat. Cake, in turn, has changed up its ingredients and produced a new variation that’s organic and unassuming. It scraped off the rich sugary icing and no longer overwhelms the senses. As an added bonus, cake finally recognizes its value and won’t let just anyone take a bite.

I now have a more honest relationship with cake and am happy to once again partake of a slice on this new modified diet.

*this is a work of fiction; any resemblance to actual individuals or events is purely coincidental